Showing posts with label back to school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label back to school. Show all posts

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The Fisherman by Zachary Houser

There once was an old fisherman. He loved the sea, the ocean breeze and the rocking of the boat. He went out fishing for hours a day. He had never actually caught anything, but watching him you would never realize it.

One day, when he was out fishing, he felt a strong tug on his line. His catch pulled hard and he almost fell overboard, but the fisherman was determined to get his first catch. He pulled harder than he knew he could. The battle lasted a long time.

Eventually, a head started surfacing. The head was three times the size of his boat. Then came up the creature’s tail. That was all it had, a head and a tail. It looked like a serpent ending in a whale tail.

The creature said “I am a lord, one of three. My kingdom is the ocean. I control all the creatures that dwell there. I can give you my gift, but you may not have accepted the gift of another of my kind.”

The fisherman was interested in this. “All right,” he said, “Give me this gift.” Without another word, the lord took him underwater. The fisherman held his breath until his lungs felt like they would burst.

Then gills grew on his cheeks. His legs turned into a tail and his arms were suddenly fins. Another fin launched out of his back. He could breathe underwater, and could swim faster than any human. The underwater creatures would stop and watch him pass.

He made a little underwater cottage out of stones to use as a house and hiding place. He saw all kinds of creatures, some discovered, some not.

Eventually, he came to a land where few had been gefore. He tried to surface, only to discover he could no longer breathe out of the water.

He circled around the city and found a pipe pulling in clean water from the ocean, and one sending dirty water through a filter to clean it, and then sending it into the ocean. The fisherman swam into the pipe pulling water in.

When he was able to surface, he found himself in a large room. The only thing inside it was a throne. Sitting on the throne was a creature. It had the body of a bull and the mane of a lion. He said “I am a lord, one of three. My kingdom is the land. I control all the creatures that dwell there. I can give you my gift, but you may not have accepted the gift of another.”

The fisherman thought. He knew he had heard something like that somewhere, but he couldn’t remember where. Eventually, his desire to walk on land again took over. He accepted the gift.

The lord took him out of the water. His tail turned to furry legs with hooves and he grew horns. His face grew fur, although his body was still scaly and slippery. He could now travel by land or sea. He had nearly limitless strength and speed.

The fisherman, while he was still human, wanted to travel everywhere. He decided he would have the best chance of doing this while he was in his current form.

After years of traveling, he realized that there was one place he could never go in his present form. So he set off again, this time with a different goal. He wanted to find the third lord.

He climbed, jumped and swam until he came to the highest spot he could find. There he saw the last lord. The lord had the face of a hawk and the body of an eagle.

He said “I am a lord, one of th-“

The fisherman held up his hand. “I know, I know,” he said. “You are a lord, one of three. Your kingdom is the sky. You control all the creatures that dwell there. You can give me your gift, but I may not have accepted the gift of another. Give me your gift.”

The lord tackled him, and he fell off the cliff. As he fell, he grew a feathered tail and a beak. Right before he hit the ground, wings sprouted. His flying was choppy at first, but he learned fast.

Soon he flew with no problem. However, as he soared, he lost more and more humanity. Soon he had lost his humanity completely. He glided into the night and wasn’t seen again.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

But If You Try Sometimes You Just Might Find...

Ben's preschool teacher reports that she sat down next to Ben at school and told him that she wants to see him do a good job writing his letters today.

Ben's reply: "Well, you can't always get what you want."

(To be fair, this is something Ben hears from me with some frequency.)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Polar Bears...

As part of the Learning Enrichment Program he is in at school, Zach was on public access cable TV tonight presenting a report he put together on polar bears.

I was hoping his presentation would more closely mirror Steve Carell's "Wildlife Expert" bit from his days as a correspondent on The Daily Show, but I thought it was pretty solid nonetheless.

The sound isn't very clear, so here's the transcript:

"My name is Zachary, I'm from Amosland, my project is on polar bears, my favorite fact I learned is that polar bears sometimes have snowball fights with each other and my favorite part of doing this project was doing the true or false test."


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Phoebe's Favorite Things

Phoebe made this project in school last week. It represents her favorite sport, the thing that is most important to her, her favorite book, and her favorite food.

(The poster reads "Soccer", "My Family", "Fairy Realm", and "bacon".)

Three things to note: First, as much as we love Phoebe's kindergarten teacher, we're not sure what to do about the fact that she regularly misspells Phoebe's name, transposing the "o" and the "e".

Second, Phoebe wasn't nearly as amused as I was when I asked whether her favorite sport was really bacon.

Third, when I told Phoebe I would put her picture up on our blog, her response was "Ewww, that sounds disgusting!"

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

School Days

On Wednesdays, one of our neighbors' daughters walks to school with Ben. (That's a temporary tattoo on her left arm.)

As I was walking with them and listening in on their conversation, the White Stripes song "We're Going To Be Friends" was going through my head:

Fall is here / hear the yell
Back to school / ring the bell
Brand new shoes / walking blues
Climb the fence / books and pens
I can tell that we are gonna be friends

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The Interrogation

Ben started back to preschool today. Phoebe was particularly interested in Ben's school activites, as Ben is in the same preschool classroom Phoebe was in last year.

On our way home, Phoebe told him "Ben, I have a lot of questions for you", then proceeded to grill him for the next five minutes. Here is their conversation, more or less verbatim:

Phoebe: "Did you have a good day?"
Ben: "Yes."
Phoebe: "Are your teachers nice?"
Ben: "Yes."
Phoebe: "Was it anyone's birthday?"
Ben: "No."
Phoebe: "What did you have for snack?"
Ben: "Pretzels."
Phoebe: "Did you make any new friends?"
Ben: "Yes."
Phoebe: "What were their names?"
Ben: "I don't remember."
Phoebe: "Did you make a project?"
Ben: "What, are you kidding? Of course I did!" (holds up drawing)
Phoebe: "Do you know your teachers names?"
Ben: "Only one - Miss Micki."
Phoebe: "Miss Micki and Miss Lisa. I know because I was in your class last year."

The cross-examination was finished by the time we got home. I have to hand it to her, Phoebe got about as much information out of Ben than I've ever been able to get out of any of the kids when asking about school.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Rookie of the Year

Having been promoted to the local single-A elementary school, Phoebe will begin her public school rookie season today.

According to the 2007 Houserspawn(tm) Press Guide, Phoebe will be the opening day starter for Team Houserspawn(tm). Our scouts tell us that she has all of the tools necessray to be successful at the next level, and we project that she will put up solid numbers.

Phoebe has had an impressive start to her minor-league scholastic career, and even did some additional off-season workouts over the summer, practicing her reading with Daddy and learning to write a handful of words.

We look for Phoebe to continue to improve all aspects of her game this season, and to be promoted first grade by this time next year.




Back to School Preparations

Ben submits to a haircut over the weekend to prepare for his return to preschool this week.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The End of the Summer

Today is the first day of school for our 2nd grader. He couldn't be happier.

Well, ok, he could be a little happier.