An Open Letter to the Houser Children

Dear Houser children,

We are writing to express our displeasure regarding the inequitable distribution of animal feed during your visit to Linvilla Orchards last weekend.

We understand that the rabbits, deer, sheep and even the goats may be considered cuter than us by your incomprehensible human standards, but we chickens, pheasants, and emu get hungry too. We would have very much enjoyed more of the feed that you were offering. Bawk! Bawk!

To be fair, you did offer us some feed. Perhaps our attempts to peck you through our cage did not adequately convey our thanks for what you did give us. And maybe you were put off by our loud clucking and surly attitudes. Bawk! Bawk!

We only ask that on your next visit, you think of us chickens, and offer us at least as much feed as our four-footed bretheren.

Now if you'll excuse us, we have to go scratch in the dirt, peck at visitors through the fence, and squawk loudly at each other.

Please come back soon! Bawk! Bawk!

Sincerely,
The Linvilla Orchards Union of Concerned Chickens and Other Assorted Avian Creatures

Feeding Animals

Zach, Phoebe, and Ben feeding the animals at Linvilla Orchards during their visit last weekend.

I will neither confirm nor deny the rumor that Ben attempted to eat some of the animal feed.

Story Time

Once upon a time, there lived a family of farm animals: Daddy Cow, Zachary Cow, Phoebe Pig, and Benjamin Sheep.

One day, the animal family decided to go visit Linvilla Orchards.

When they arrived, Daddy Cow became confused about his gender, given the fact that he had horns, but also had an udder.

Benjamin the Sheep recognized Daddy Cow's gender identification concern and declared "My favorite color is GREEN!"

"I want to go eat some macaroni and cheese," added Phoebe the Pig, "for I am a pig, and I like to eat macaroni and cheese!"

Zachary, who was a metrosexual bovine like his father, stopped to think.

He wondered why he and his father were cows, while his sister was a pig and his brother a sheep.

How could this be?

And while he liked being a cow, but he couldn't help but wonder whether he would be happier as a pig.

Then, suddenly and inexplicably, Phoebe the Pig transformed into a sheep.

She looked down to the ground in dismay, for she knew that sheep do not eat macaroni and cheese.

Phoebe the Sheep grew increasingly concerned as Zachary took the rather grotesque form of a pig with a human leg growing out of it's head, and Benjamin became a duck with a human scalp for a face.

And they all lived happily ever after.