Little Mousie Adventures

Featuring Little Mousie, Linda, Benjamin, all kinds of monsters, all kinds of hunters and robbers, Phoebe, Zach, and Dad.

(As told by Benjamin Houser)

Chapter 1: The Funness for Mousie

The Little Mousie was in the pet shop. Ben was shopping with his family at the pet shop. When Ben saw Little Mousie, he said, “Mom, can we buy the mouse?”
Mom said, “Sure.”

Then a robber came to the pet shop. “Ooooooh,” said Mousie. “Gulp!” said Mousie. Then Mousie said, “That robber was better than ever!”

When he found the robber’s blaster, Mousie said, “Ooooh, a pet present. It must be an exerciser with this bar.”

He exercised and exercised. Then Ben’s family brought Little Mousie home. They made him a large cage. Then they made a bed for him. They needed to give him lots of cheese.

Once, when there was a robber, Ben’s family called the police. Before they even heard or saw Mousie gulping up the robber, when the robber was gone, they knew what had happened. When they got there, the police said, “Where’s the robber?”

Ben’s family said, “Uh. Our little mouse choked him,”

The police said, “Whaaaaaat?!”

The mouse showed the police officer all the money that the robber had stolen. The police said, “Why is your little mouse wearing a super-hero suit?”

Little Mousie said, “I got it for gulping up a monster with one gulp.”

The police officer asked, “And what are those big tubes outside?”

Mousie said, “They’re my eating bags.”

“Well, they’re pretty big. I don’t think you could eat them.”

Mousie opened his mouth as wide as space and ate one.

When the police had gone, Ben’s family went to the beach. Mousie was trying to catch an orca. A fisherman said, “Bwa Ha Ha! A mouse can’t catch an orca!”

Mousie said, “I can.”

Mousie caught an orca. The fisherman said, “Bet you can’t get to an orca before I’m done blinking”

Mousie got his teleporter ready. And as Mousie said, when the fisherman was done blinking – poof! – there he was! Mousie lifted up the orca and made orca soup. And they all ate.
 
Chapter 2: Little Mousie So Hungry!

Little Mousie said to Linda, “Can I go on vacation?” “Of course,” Linda said.

When he stepped outside, he saw a tiger. And the tiger saw him. And I think you know what

Mousie did: eat him! Then he saw a bush. He ate it! He saw a goblin. He ate it! He saw the vacation house. He at it! Then he built it how he wanted it to be. Then he ate a whole egg, even the shell. Then he ate lots and lots of cheese.

Little Mousie went to Maine. He went to the pool. Do you know what? He drank all the water. Then he ate one side of the pool. Then he exercised to make himself not as fat. Then he saw a lost air balloon. He rode on it – then he ate it.

He saw two cats. He kept them as pets. He named one Bean and one Abby. Then Mousie brought them home. But Phoebe called one Noodgie.

~The End~

The Strawberry Thief

Linda and Phoebe have been trying to grow strawberries in the backyard for the past couple years now, but every time one of the underripe green berries gets big enough to notice, it disappears.

Recently, Linda caught our strawberry thief in the act.

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Polar Bears...

As part of the Learning Enrichment Program he is in at school, Zach was on public access cable TV tonight presenting a report he put together on polar bears.

I was hoping his presentation would more closely mirror Steve Carell's "Wildlife Expert" bit from his days as a correspondent on The Daily Show, but I thought it was pretty solid nonetheless.

The sound isn't very clear, so here's the transcript:

"My name is Zachary, I'm from Amosland, my project is on polar bears, my favorite fact I learned is that polar bears sometimes have snowball fights with each other and my favorite part of doing this project was doing the true or false test."

Freeloaders

I arrived home from work today to news that we have freeloaders living in our back yard. Much like the robins that took up residence over our outdoor floodlights last spring, three baby bunnies have made the Houserspawn(tm) back yard their home.

The kids seem pretty unfazed by our new little friends, but the news put me in Bunny Defense Mode. Almost immediately after Linda told me about the rabbits, I felt this impulse to protect these vulnerable little animals like some kind of surrogate parent.

I found myself imploring Linda not to let the neighborhood kids know about the bunnies, for fear that one of the kids might inadvertantly harm them. And checking out the window periodically to make sure they're safe. And worrying about the cats that roam the neighborhood. And fighting the compulsion even now to go outside and double check that the gate to the back yard is latched.

I am struck by just how deep this primal monkey instinct is imbedded in humanity. Must protect small, defenseless things. I am entirely invested in the well being of these rabbits that I didn't even know existed a few hours ago.

The Spirit of the Knight and Power Ranger

Last night, Linda was working with Ben on his letters using the computer keyboard, and Ben decided he wanted to write a story. He dictated the following to Linda:

The Spirit of the Knight and Power Ranger
by Ben

Once upon a time, there was a knight. There was a witch too. The witch had a pet spider. There was a Power Ranger, the knight’s helper. The Power Ranger didn’t resist anything. The Power Ranger had a ship, and the witch could shoot cannon balls out of her fingers. The knight had a pet dog. The dog’s name was RoofClown. The knight wrote a note to the Power Ranger. The note said,

Dear Power Ranger,

I can’t come and see you again. I need to come out for a short time. It’s a lucky day for you because you get to be alone.

The dog hated baths; he also hated playing games. The knight battled the witch. He beat her.

The End

More Formal Holiday Photos

Because Christmas just isn't complete without multiple visits to the local Spend-Mart for pictures.

Zach, Phoebe, and Ben pictured with and without their holiday-themed stuffed animals:

Summer Highlights 2007 - New Tenants

In the spring, a robin built her nest on the floodlights in front of our house.

During the first few weeks of the summer, we'd frequently pull up in the driveway and see mama bird feeding her babies.

We had to evict them, though, as they were constantly late with the rent.

An Open Letter to the Houser Children

Dear Houser children,

We are writing to express our displeasure regarding the inequitable distribution of animal feed during your visit to Linvilla Orchards last weekend.

We understand that the rabbits, deer, sheep and even the goats may be considered cuter than us by your incomprehensible human standards, but we chickens, pheasants, and emu get hungry too. We would have very much enjoyed more of the feed that you were offering. Bawk! Bawk!

To be fair, you did offer us some feed. Perhaps our attempts to peck you through our cage did not adequately convey our thanks for what you did give us. And maybe you were put off by our loud clucking and surly attitudes. Bawk! Bawk!

We only ask that on your next visit, you think of us chickens, and offer us at least as much feed as our four-footed bretheren.

Now if you'll excuse us, we have to go scratch in the dirt, peck at visitors through the fence, and squawk loudly at each other.

Please come back soon! Bawk! Bawk!

Sincerely,
The Linvilla Orchards Union of Concerned Chickens and Other Assorted Avian Creatures

Feeding Animals

Zach, Phoebe, and Ben feeding the animals at Linvilla Orchards during their visit last weekend.

I will neither confirm nor deny the rumor that Ben attempted to eat some of the animal feed.

Story Time

Once upon a time, there lived a family of farm animals: Daddy Cow, Zachary Cow, Phoebe Pig, and Benjamin Sheep.

One day, the animal family decided to go visit Linvilla Orchards.

When they arrived, Daddy Cow became confused about his gender, given the fact that he had horns, but also had an udder.

Benjamin the Sheep recognized Daddy Cow's gender identification concern and declared "My favorite color is GREEN!"

"I want to go eat some macaroni and cheese," added Phoebe the Pig, "for I am a pig, and I like to eat macaroni and cheese!"

Zachary, who was a metrosexual bovine like his father, stopped to think.

He wondered why he and his father were cows, while his sister was a pig and his brother a sheep.

How could this be?

And while he liked being a cow, but he couldn't help but wonder whether he would be happier as a pig.

Then, suddenly and inexplicably, Phoebe the Pig transformed into a sheep.

She looked down to the ground in dismay, for she knew that sheep do not eat macaroni and cheese.

Phoebe the Sheep grew increasingly concerned as Zachary took the rather grotesque form of a pig with a human leg growing out of it's head, and Benjamin became a duck with a human scalp for a face.

And they all lived happily ever after.