Happy Birthday, Ben

Ben turns four years old today, so I met with him this morning to complete his annual performance review:

PERFORMANCE REVIEW

Name: Ben
Department: Humanoid Development
Title: Offspring Prototype 3.0
Review Period: Sept 2006 - Aug 2007

1) Accomplishments
In the past year, Ben has started preschool, participated in the local tee-ball league, and most importantly, successfully completed potty training. He has also made significant progress in bike riding, moving from his tricycle to a two wheeler (with training wheels).

2) New Responsibilities/Professional Development
Ben has (somewhat reluctantly) taken on the responsibility of keeping his room clean and throwing his dirty clothes in the hamper, and has made some progress in the area of not peeing on the bathroom floor. We are also expanding his recreational responsibilities to include participation in a fall soccer league, and increasing his preschool workload from one to three days per week.

3) Career Goals
While Ben's stated career goal of "becoming a knight" seems rather improbable, we applaud his ambition. While knighthood might not be in his immediate future, Ben's skills are well suited for his current role here at Houserspawn(tm). We anticipate that our relationship with Ben will continue to be mutually benficial for the forseeable future.

4) Additional Comments
Ben is a productive member of the Houserspawn(tm) team, and we look forward to seeing him work toward fulfilling his potential in the upcoming year.

5) Recommendations
I am recommending the usual bonuses for the year, including an extra-large slice of cake at the upcoming Houserspawn(tm)-sponsored birthday party.