Our Favorite Things in 2008

In lieu of a formal Christmas letter, our yearly tradition has been to include a short insert with our Christmas cards listing each of the kids' favorite things in several categories.

Here is this year's survey.

Our Favorite Things in 2008:

Philadelphia Phillie
Zach: Shane Victorino
Phoebe: The Phanatic
Ben: Chase Utley

Toy
Zach and Phoebe: Nintendo DS
Ben: Legos

Sport
Zach: Bowling
Phoebe: Swimming
Ben: Soccer

Planet
Zach: Saturn
Phoebe: Pluto
Ben: Earth ("Pluto is so little!")

Song
Zach: "Jerusalem" by Steve Earle
Phoebe: "Nowhere Man" by The Beatles
Ben: "Hey Bulldog" by The Beatles

Food
Zach: tacos
Phoebe: spaghetti
Ben: pizza

Future Career
Zach: architect
Phoebe: teacher, artist, police officer ("That's a pretty hard job!")
Ben: mail carrier

Hope for the New Year
Zach: less pollution
Phoebe: an end to war
Ben: Legos for Christmas

Wishing you all of your favorite things this holiday season!

WEB EXCLUSIVE!! BONUS WEB-ONLY OUT-TAKES!!

If Santa had a 10th reindeer, what would he name it?
Zach: Meteor
Phoebe: Nice-On ("It's the opposite of Rude-off. Get it?")
Ben: Peanut

What are candy canes made of?
Zach: mint
Phoebe: sticky candy
Ben: spice

Where do Elves go on vacation?
Zach: the South Pole
Phoebe: the beach (in disguise)
Ben: an iceberg

How does Santa know who's been naughty and who's been nice?
Zach: robots
Phoebe: He has a magical crystal ball that tells him.
Ben: grown-ups ("Grown-ups never lie.")

If Santa retired, who would be a good choice to take his place?
Zach: "One of the reindeer could probably take over."
Phoebe: An elf
Ben: "You could do it, Dad."

Baseball

As parents, we try to impart to our kids those things that are most important to us. And for me, near the top of the list is a love for baseball.

So to that end, since Zach was three years old, I have taken him to at least one home Phillies game and one out-of-town game every season. We started going to games in 2003, the last year at Veterens Stadium. Since then, we've seen Ryan Howard, in his Rookie-of-the-Year season, homer at Shea Stadium in a Phils victory over the Mets. We saw the Phillies beat the Nationals at the home opener in 2005. And we saw them lose to the Cardinals in at 2006's season opener. We were there to see the Phillies defeat the Yankees in interleague play, and we watched as Roy Halladay out-pitched Randy Johnson at Yankee Stadium.

In June of 2006, we waited out a rain delay at the old RFK Stadium in Washington, and stuck around well past midnight to see the Phillies fall to the Nationals in extra innings, then came back the following afternoon to see the Phils pick up a win against those same Nats. We were back in DC this year to see the Phils beat the Nationals en route to their second straight NL East championship.

We've seen games at Camden Yards in Baltimore and PNC Park in Pittsburgh. And we've been to a dozen or so minor league games in places like Wilmington, Camden, Atlantic City, Lancaster, Reading, Staten Island, and Brooklyn.

But despite all of this, Zach's interest in the sport has waned over the past few years. He'll still watch an inning or two with me on TV now and then, and he'll still go to games with me. Sometimes.

There are other diversions in his life that capture his attention now in ways that baseball does not. He loves anything to do with Pokémon. He is a voracious reader. And he is addicted to computer games. But baseball? Not so much these days.

So over the weekend, I took drastic measures. I splurged on a pair of tickets to Game 2 of the Phillies-Dodgers National League Championship Series game on Friday. If you don't really pay attention to baseball, you might not be aware of the extent to which the atmosphere at a playoff baseball game is much more intese than that of a regular season game.

The crowd was hanging on every pitch, erupting in cheers with every Phillies hit and every Dodger out. And there was plenty to cheer about that night. The Phillies offense exploded for four runs in the 2nd and four more in the 3rd. A spectatacular Shane Victorino catch in the 7th inning shut down the biggest Dodger threat of the night, and closer Brad Lidge struck out the final batter in the 9th to seal the Phillies victory. Fireworks lit up the sky when the last out was made. And the celebration continued as the stadium emptied, with the crowd shouting spontaneous chants.

If a game like that doesn't make the boy fall in love with baseball, I'm afraid nothing will.

And if it just isn't meant to be, well, I still have hope for Phoebe and Ben...

Brassy Lad

As part of our ongoing effort to minimize any prolonged periods of relative calm and/or tranquility at the house, we encouraged Zach's decision to take up the trombone this year.

Zach's tells us that he made his choice when, at the school assembly introducing the kids to the instruments they could pick from, the trombone player got up on stage and demonstrated by playing the Imperial March from Star Wars. A compelling arguement, to be sure.

Houserspawn(tm) Farms

For the past few summers, Linda has planted a small garden in the yard with the kids. Now that Fall is here, we're ready to report on the what was a record yield for Houserspanwn(tm) Farms.

The 2008 season produced:

- 1 (one) pumpkin
- Several strawberries, all of which got eaten by squirrels before ripening
- Approximately 8,000 (eight thousand) cherry tomatoes.

Not a whole lot of variety, but it should be enough to get us through the winter if/when the U.S. economy completely dissolves, and we have to live off the land for a while.

Phoebe's Building Company

Phoebe's Building Company is now taking orders for new construction of residential and professional buildings. We'll work with you every step of the way to ensure that your new home or office facility meets your specifications, but we get to pick out what kind to build. Don't worry, we know what we're doing.

Your new building is guaranteed to be colorful, have doors and windows that actually open and close, and have a roof that comes off so that you can see inside.

Many buildings come with a complimentary spaceship.

More about us:

- We specialize in buildings for people standing no more than 1-1/2" high, and we work primarily with Lego blocks

- We can use the instructions, or we can just make up our own house

- If we get tired of building, it's ok. We'll come back and finish it later

- We can do it ourselves -- we don't need any help!

- If you are one of my brothers, NO YOU MAY NOT USE MY PIECES! I need them to finish my house!

Contact us today for a free consulatation with our Chief Architect and Master Builder!

Wildwood Vacation 2008

Last month, we did our annual family excursion to the Jersey Shore, spending a week collecting seashells on the beach, bicycling on the boardwalk, splashing down waterslides, riding every possible amusement ride, and eating lots of pizza and cotton candy.

Vacation photos (courtesy of Uncle Matt) can be seen here.

The Strawberry Thief

Linda and Phoebe have been trying to grow strawberries in the backyard for the past couple years now, but every time one of the underripe green berries gets big enough to notice, it disappears.

Recently, Linda caught our strawberry thief in the act.

Make a Little Birdhouse In Your Soul

Once a month, our local Home Depot holds a workshop where kids are invited to come and work on developing important life skills, such as wacking things repeatedly with a hammer, avoiding injury while performing said wacking, and in the process building a small project.

Pictured here is Ben, having successfully completed building a small birdhouse. Note that all digits are still intact. Victory!

Houserspawn(tm) in the News

Zach made an appearance in our local Town Talk newspaper last week for his role in a service project he participated in at school.

The text of the article reads as follows:

Three Amosland Elementary School students of Lauren Derby, Reading Specialist / LEP (Gifted Support) Teacher for Ridley School District, recently conceptualized and executed a community service project that helped students as Park Lane Elementary School in Darby. The trio conducted a drive that asked classmates, parents, and teachers to donate old, new, or gently used items such as; notebooks, art supplies, books, teaching materials, and even sporting goods to a school that had a wish list of needs. With the help of their clever marketing that included morning announcements and letters to both parents and teachers, they collected, sorted, packed and delivered over 30 boxes of goods to the classrooms at Park Lane. Above, l-r Zachary Houser, Gurleen Kaur, Varshini Malliredigari are pictured packing donations.

Wanna Buy A Bridge?

Since he's been four years old, Zach and I have made at least one trip every summer to see a baseball game with Uncle Matt and Aunt Elizabeth in New York.

Baseball wasn't in the cards for this year's visit, as Yankees tickets are at a premium with this being the last year at Yankee Stadium. (Not to mention seeing the Mets play at Shea being generally undesirable, and the minor league Brooklyn Cyclones and Staten Island Yanks not having started their seasons yet.)

So we we spent the day on Saturday walking the Brooklyn Bridge, browsing the giant LEGO scuptures at F.A.O. Schwarz, buying up vintage sweets at Dillard's Candy store, and taking a powerboat ride around New York Harbor.

More pictures here.

Slave to Fashion

Being a typical four-year-old, Ben likes to dress himself.

There are a few ways of thinking about this. On one extreme, there is the Control Freak approach, where you have all of your child's clothes chosen ahead of time, and the kid has no say in the matter whatsoever. (Which, of course, can only cause the child to rebel hard, directly resulting in all manner of unsightly facial piercings, tattoos, and other unfortunate body modifications.)

Then, on the other end of the spectrum is the Anything Goes approach. This means allowing your child to wear the clothes that they want to wear, even if the outfit they pick out is hideously ugly, not sized properly, aggressively unfashionable, or not appropriate for the weather (like, for example, the long sleeve shirt Ben wanted to wear in the 98-degree heat yesterday.)

Linda and I try to find a balance between these two extremes, and the end result is generally tolerable to all parties involved.

As the picture below illustrates, we took the more lenient approach when Ben dressed himself for his preschool graduation ceremony.

(Yes, those are camouflage rain boots.)

So You Think You Can Dance

Last month, Zach and Phoebe performed in a musical at church.

As you can see in this video, it's just a crying shame that Zach is so inhibited on stage. We have to find some way to get that boy to come out of his shell.

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Polar Bears...

As part of the Learning Enrichment Program he is in at school, Zach was on public access cable TV tonight presenting a report he put together on polar bears.

I was hoping his presentation would more closely mirror Steve Carell's "Wildlife Expert" bit from his days as a correspondent on The Daily Show, but I thought it was pretty solid nonetheless.

The sound isn't very clear, so here's the transcript:

"My name is Zachary, I'm from Amosland, my project is on polar bears, my favorite fact I learned is that polar bears sometimes have snowball fights with each other and my favorite part of doing this project was doing the true or false test."

Joy of the Game

Ben played in his first two T-ball games this weekend. He's going to need some work on his swing. And fielding the ball. And throwing. Baserunning needs some work, too.

But much to our delight, he seems to be enjoying it immensely. At least to this point, he approaches the game with a barely-contained joyful enthusiasm. Last year, he seemed to like the game well enough, but this year, he's just thrilled with it.

Another big plus: after being assigned to the Braves last year, this year he gets to play for the Phillies.

In A Galaxy Far, Far Away...

Last night, Linda, the kids and I joined a bunch of the kids' cousins at the Star Wars exhibit at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia.

The exhibit included props and costumes from the Star Wars movies, as well as interactive stations which demonstrated R2 D2-like robotics, vehicles which use magnetic levitation, the planning and construction of Curasant-like cities, and other advances similar to the futuristic technologies depicted in the Star Wars universe.

Zach's favorite station featured a computer game which was played by placing special cards on a rotating table. Each tile represented a building -- things like power generation stations, or farming machinery, or a shelter. A camara pointed at the table, and rendered the buildings on the monitor, creating a virtual spaceport, or moisture farm community, or Jawa settlement. During the course of the game, the player had to re-align the buildings to maintain the optimal balance between various production, security, and social factors. Very cool game.

Phoebe liked riding the "Air-chair", which floated on a cushion of air (not unlike Luke Skywalker's landspeeder.)

And Ben's highlight was undoubtedly when we bought him a souvenier light saber on the way out of the building.

I was somewhat disappointed by the lack of a Princess Amadala exhibit, which (naturally) would have involved Natalie Portman look-alikes.

Freeloaders

I arrived home from work today to news that we have freeloaders living in our back yard. Much like the robins that took up residence over our outdoor floodlights last spring, three baby bunnies have made the Houserspawn(tm) back yard their home.

The kids seem pretty unfazed by our new little friends, but the news put me in Bunny Defense Mode. Almost immediately after Linda told me about the rabbits, I felt this impulse to protect these vulnerable little animals like some kind of surrogate parent.

I found myself imploring Linda not to let the neighborhood kids know about the bunnies, for fear that one of the kids might inadvertantly harm them. And checking out the window periodically to make sure they're safe. And worrying about the cats that roam the neighborhood. And fighting the compulsion even now to go outside and double check that the gate to the back yard is latched.

I am struck by just how deep this primal monkey instinct is imbedded in humanity. Must protect small, defenseless things. I am entirely invested in the well being of these rabbits that I didn't even know existed a few hours ago.

When Sidewalks Attack

The first day of Spring might have officially been on March 20th, but it's only now that Houserspawn(tm) Nation is recognizing the change in seasons.

We can now officially acknowledge that Spring has arrived because the kids have started to accumulate injuries of the outside-playing, shorts-wearing, sidewalk-stumbling variety.
The two most recent mishaps:

- Friday, April 11th - Zach stumbled and skinned his knee walking home from school.
- Sunday, April 14th - Ben fell off his scooter, scraping up his face.

Linda tells me that Phoebe also did a fall-and-scrape last week, but since it didn't draw blood, it doesn't make the list.

Opening Day

With Zach on the DL for a few days (mild fever), Ben took his place in the stands at the Phillies home opener today.

It was a pretty lousy day for a game. It was cold, and while it was never really in danger of being delayed by rain, the game was played in a constant drizzle.

Nevertheless, all of the excitement involved in eating hot dogs and soft pretzels, getting a Phanatic coloring book, seeing home runs hit by Chase Utley and Jimmy Rollins, and ultimately seeing the Phillies lose to the Washington Nationals by a score of 11-6 was too much for Ben, who fell asleep within five minutes of getting in the car to go home.

Outward Bound

As part of our ongoing effort to get the kids to play outdoors more, I put up a basketball hoop over the weekend. (I suppose that our attempts at getting the kids involved in various athletic endeavors are becoming a recurring theme on the Houserspawn(tm) blog -- I probably need to come up with a new label for this.)

Unfortunately, the construction of the hoop had no immediate effect on Zach or Phoebe. Zach came down with a fever, and spent most of yesterday afternoon sleeping. And Phoebe promptly claimed the oversized cardboard box that the hoop came in, dragged it into the house, and used scissors and crayons to make it into a makeshift "pet shop" for some of her figurines.

Ben came up big, though, and shot some hoops with me. And once Ben was done, the 8-year-old neighbor from across the street came over and challenged me to a game of one-on-one. (I crushed him).

Conclusion: Despite our best efforts, we may not be raising the most athletically inclined kids ever.

The Spirit of the Knight and Power Ranger

Last night, Linda was working with Ben on his letters using the computer keyboard, and Ben decided he wanted to write a story. He dictated the following to Linda:

The Spirit of the Knight and Power Ranger
by Ben

Once upon a time, there was a knight. There was a witch too. The witch had a pet spider. There was a Power Ranger, the knight’s helper. The Power Ranger didn’t resist anything. The Power Ranger had a ship, and the witch could shoot cannon balls out of her fingers. The knight had a pet dog. The dog’s name was RoofClown. The knight wrote a note to the Power Ranger. The note said,

Dear Power Ranger,

I can’t come and see you again. I need to come out for a short time. It’s a lucky day for you because you get to be alone.

The dog hated baths; he also hated playing games. The knight battled the witch. He beat her.

The End

President Phoebe

On President's day, Phoebe's project at school was to illustrate what she would do if she were President.

She drew this outstanding picture of President Phoebe brokering peace between two soldiers (with the obligatory silhouettes of floating, disembodied Washington and Lincoln heads looking on).

The text below the picture reads "If I were President, I would stop wars."

She has my vote.

Monster Jam

On Friday night, Linda's dad and I took Zach and Ben to a monster truck show. Here's the play-by-play:

6:27 PM - Leaving for the show, Ben decides that he does not want to see monster trucks, repeating over and over again: "I don't want to go to the truck show!" He finally gives up the fight, and climbs into his car seat.

7:02 PM - At monster truck shows, we learn that not only are there ticket scalpers in the parking lot; the earplug black market is thriving. (Fortunately, we brought our own.)

7:15 PM - Before the show starts, the announcer comes out to present the agenda for the evening. He describes, in detail, the various events we are about to witness, the order in which these events are to occur, and questions us repeatedly regarding our readiness to observe said events. In fact, we are asked no less than six times: "ARE YOU READY FOR MONSTER JAM?!"

7:34 PM - The monster trucks roar into the arena! There are eight of them, they are very loud, and they slowly parade around the perimeter of the performance area.

7:41 PM - Monster Jam can't officially start until we honor our fire fighters, the police, America, and the brave men and women who fight for our freedom. A large American flag is slowly unfurled while a recording of Lee Greenwood singing about how he feels to be an American (proud, in case you're wondering) is played over the PA system. Then a local high school sophomore delivers an agreeable performance of our national anthem to a stadium full of people wearing earplugs.

7:46 PM - Each monster truck takes a turn running over a line of four cars. Each run is given a score, not all that much unlike a figure skating competition. I don't know what criteria they use exactly, but "getting air" is definitely encouraged. The winner is a monster truck called Gravedigger, which is apparently one of Monster Jam's most popular attractions. (After the fact, I learned that this was called the "Wheelie Competition")

7:59 PM - While setting up for the next event, there is a go-cart race with "Team New York" racing against "Team Philadelphia". The Team New York captain is a typical pro-wrestling-style heel who taunts the fans after Team New York wins the first heat. Can Team Philly come back, win the next heat, and take the go-kart competition? We can only hope.

8:03 PM - The monster trucks now have a racing tournament where each truck needs to drive up and over four cars to the finish line. Each race takes about five minutes to set up and about 10 seconds to run. A truck called Monster Mutt, decorated like a giant dog, wins the tournament. Blue cotton candy is consumed, and Zach and Ben are covered in blue sticky goo.

8:22 PM - Time for intermission, during which they have little remote controlled trucks drive around on the track. This is surprisingly entertaining, with the crowd reacting to the toy trucks with almost as much enthusiasm as the actual monster trucks. The blue cotton candy situation is remedied during a quick trip to the men's room.

8:41 PM - Next is the motorcycle jumping portion of the show. They have ramps set up, and three motorcyclists take turns jumping and doing tricks.

8:53 PM - A quick survey of the Houserspawn(tm) reveals that they have seen enough Monster Jam for one night, and are ready to beat the traffic and get home.

9:28 PM - Upon arriving home, Ben (who should be exhausted by now) chatters to Linda and Nana excitedly about the show - particularly the motorcycle jumpers - until we are able to get him settled down and ready for bed.

All in all, a fun boys night out for the Houserspawn(tm). The girls, by the way, went to see the new Spiderwick movie. I am told that it was great, even if it was completely devoid of EXTREME MONSTER TRUCK ACTION!!!

Matzo Ball Soup For Me

Zach has earned a starring role in the church musical this spring, playing the part of Order #2.

It is a speaking role and everything, requiring him to deliver exactly one line: "Matzo ball soup for me."

Phoebe is also involved in the play, as part of the chorus.

Team Houserspawn(tm)'s lawyers have submitted its usual hospitality rider for the performance:

- a private dressing room
- a television set and Wii video game console
- an assortment of paper, crayons, and colored pencils
- six (6) bottles of blue or purple Gatorade (NOT POWERADE!)
- a small platter of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (no crusts, cut into quarters)
- four (4) individually wrapped pieces of string cheese
- a small bowl of baby carrots and ranch dressing dip

We will also be demanding a large number of comp tickets, so if you're in the Philadelphia area on May 11th, and want some VIP seats for the performance, just let us know.

Daisy Scouts

Last week, Phoebe participated in a Daisy Scout Investiture Ceremony. I'm not sure how much I am at liberty to reveal, but the proceedings were not unlike how I picture a Skull and Bones induction. Only with more singing.

I don't want to put myself at risk of retribution by divulging too much information, but here were some of the highlights of the ritual:

The girls started with a song about meeting new friends:

Make new friends / Keep the old
One is silver / And the other gold

Next came the Girl Scout Pledge (accompanied by the secret Girl Scout Hand Signal).

Then, things got serious.

Each new recruit was led out onto the stage with a handmade, paper daisy in front of her face. The Scout leader held an (empty) watering can over the girl's head, and recited this incantation:

Sprinkle with honesty, friendship, and care
Sprinkle (girl's name) with all
that is fair
Raise your voices as we shout
And up comes a new...
(shouted) DAISY! GIRL! SCOUT!

At this, the girl dropped the paper daisy away from her face, and hopped into the air, as if being sprouted anew as a Daisy Scout.

Once all of the new Daisies were sprouted, there was a closing ceremony where another song was sung, and then it was juice boxes and baked goods for everyone.

Aside from wearing the sharp uniform and attending the secret meetings, I'm not entirely clear what rights and privileges a DAISY! GIRL! SCOUT! enjoys. (Issue parking tickets? Conduct searches without a warrant? Make citizens arrests?)

But in any case, it is somehow comforting to know that Team Houserspawn(tm) has connections to at least one other secret society in the neighborhood.

Gingerbread Disaster

Catching up on some pictures from over the holidays...

In the days just after Christmas, Linda worked on building a gingerbread house with the kids.

Lesson learned: Gingerbread is a less-than-ideal building material.

We Wish You A Merry Fitness

Over the Christmas and New Years holidays, we had the opportunity to make several trips to visit Linda's parents.

Nana and Grandpa have a big yard where the kids can run and play, a dog that loves attention, and a large assortment of toys and games. And during our visits, the kids were the recipients of many generous gifts from their grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

And yet, the kids' favorite activity at Nana and Grandpa's house is to play on the old stationary bike and treadmill that Linda's parents keep in the basement.

The most popular games include:

- running the treadmill at full speed and dodging the toys that your siblings place on the track
- using the treadmill guardrails to flip upside-down (preferably, with the treadmill still running)
- climbing between the treadmill and stationary bike without touching the floor

Because after all, when you're a child, what is more compelling than wanton danger and recklessness?

(Answer: Nothing.)

Houserspawn(tm) Super Bowl Predictions

Here at Houserspawn(tm), we know how difficult it can be to find analysis and opinion on the Super Bowl in the weeks leading up to the game.

Well, look no further. After extensive research and painstaking study, the Houserspawn(tm) panel of experts is ready provide this service to our readers, and to make our fearless predictions public.

Me: I am no fan of the Giants, but I also have no desire to see the Patriots go 19-0. So for me, the fact that the Giants knocked the Cowboys out of the playoffs tips my rooting interests slightly in favor of the Giants. I'm calling for Giants 31, Patriots 27.

Linda: Patriots 24, Giants 21

Ben: Patriots 5, Giants 3 ("And if the Patriots lose, I'm gonna scream.")

Zach: Patriots 37, Giants 22 ("Go Patriots!")

Phoebe: "I don't know. Who do you think will win?"
Dad: "I think the Giants will beat the Patriots."
Phoebe: "OK, I'll say... the Parakeets will win."
Dad: "What do you think the score will be?"
Phoebe (confused): "Huh? There is no squirrel!"
Dad: "Not the squirrel, the score. What will be the score to the game?"
Phoebe (more confused): "How would I know that?"

She has a point.

School of Rock

The kids and I spent the evening yesterday playing the outstanding Guitar Hero III for the Wii. (Guitar Hero is a series of music-based video games where the player pushes buttons on a guitar-shaped controller to play along with the on-screen band.)

Zach has picked it up pretty quickly, and is working his way through all of the songs on the beginner setting. Phoebe is still working on her timing, but she's got the makings of a future rock star.

Ben mostly just likes to hold the guitar controller. And when he's not asking for his turn, he likes dancing around the room to the music while the rest of us are rocking the house.