The Four Types of Soccer Parents

In my brief experience as a Soccer Dad, I have found that in general, Soccer Parents can be grouped into one of four categories:

1) The Socializer spends the entire game gabbing with friends, never really paying attention to the game unless the coach is heard calling out the kids name. The Socializer loves having kids in soccer, as it provides an opportunity to catch up on all of the neighborhood gossip. The Socializer is mostly seen talking with other Socializers, but is often spotted talking with Normal Parents as well.

2) The Angry Parent is upset that his/her child forgot the shin pads, or isn't running fast enough, or didn't heed the coach's instructions, or drank all of the Gatorade before the game even started. Angry Parent also gets upset at the coach and the refs, and basically questions every decision made regarding the league, including game location, starting times, and uniform color. Angry Parent is often looking for a sympathetic ear, and is therefore drawn to The Socializer.

3) The Fan is way too into the game, pacing the sidelines, cheering for the kids at an inappropriately loud volume throughout the game. Other parents occasionally give The Fan a bemused glance, causing The Fan to quiet down for a while. But a short time later, The Fan is caught up in the game again, clapping, yelling, and ultimately looking silly. The Fan's natural enemy is The Socializer, who prevents The Fan from paying attention to the game.

4) Finally, the Normal Parent sits back and enjoys the game, allows the coach do the coaching, and does not overwhelm the kids with lots of yelling. Normal Parent does not pace up and down the sidelines, does not indulge in excessive yelling, and does not get angry at the kids or the refs. Nevertheless, Normal Parent interacts easily with parents with any of the other three groups.

So which am I?

I am The Fan. I can't help myself. I never imagined that I'd be someone who gets all keyed up at my kids' soccer games. It is soccer, after all. But there I am each week, yelling and cheering like a crazy person.

Below: This is what Ben (his game finished up earlier in the day) was doing while I was carrying on at Zach and Phoebe's game last Sunday.