Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

A variation on the Christmas standard, as sung by me on the way home from the Christmas Eve service last night with three tired, over-excited children:

Oh, you'd better stop fussing
You'd better quit complaining
You'd better cease your fighting
I'm telling you why:
The number of presents you receive tomorrow is inversely proportionate
To the amount of screaming that happens from this point forward

You'd better stop whining
You'd better settle down
You'd better get quiet
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is getting increasingly grumpy
And might be disinclined to give you everything you asked for tomorrow morning if the fussing doesn't stop

Oh Christmas Tree

After several weeks of continued protests from the kids (and, truth be told, from Linda, who wanted to be able to vacuum the carpets), I finally caved in and dismantled our Christmas vacuum (which had been serving as our temporary Christmas tree).

Despite my suggestion that we replace it with a bigger, industrial-sized vacuum, the kids insisted that we go with an actual, honest-to-God Christmas tree this year.

Basketball Season Opener

Zach played his first official basketball game of his season last weekend.

He didn't touch the ball much, but he worked hard and played pretty solid defense. This season could a be tough one for Zach, as he's still developing his basic basketball skills, and he's playing against kids who are almost all older and bigger than him (as evidenced by the photo showing Zach, #8, playing defense against the black team.)

In light of this situation, Team Houserspawn added a supplementary provision to Zach's contract, allowing him the opportunity to earn a milkshake at Nifty Fifty's following each game where he scores a basket.

He's going to need to keep working at putting himself in a position where he has a chance to score. But hey, when milkshakes are involved, anything's possible.

(Epilogue: Zach's Maroon Team won their first game vs. the Black Team, 16-15.)

Eight Years Old

Zach turns eight the end of this month. So last Saturday, we rented the gymnasium at a local church and threw him a Pokémon-themed birthday party.

Upon arrival, the guests were placed into Pokémon teams. Then for the next two hours, we put a room full of second graders through a grueling battery of Pokémon training exercises, including piñata smacking, balloons batting, basket shooting, relay racing, and finally, group singing and ice cream cake consumption.

Basketball Season Begins

Basketball season is now in full swing for Team Houserspawn(tm). After three weeks of clinics and scrimages, teams have been chosen, and official games begin on Saturday.

We opted to keep Phoebe back with the younger kids so that she and Ben could be on a team together, while Zach chose to move up and play with the 8 and 9 year olds. It'll be a challenge for him, as he's one of the youngest kids in his league, but so far, he has held his own.

More Formal Holiday Photos

Because Christmas just isn't complete without multiple visits to the local Spend-Mart for pictures.

Zach, Phoebe, and Ben pictured with and without their holiday-themed stuffed animals:

Santa Picture

Yesterday, Linda got the kids dressed for pictures with Santa, and I snapped a few shots of them on their way out the door.

And here's the big payoff:

Couch Potato Prevention

With soccer now over, it's time for Team Houserspawn to take up another sport.

For the next three months, Saturday mornings will be about coaxing three reluctant kids into the van and taking them to the local community center to learn how to play basketball.

Decking The Halls

Much to the kids' delight, we pulled our box of holiday decorations down from the attic over the weekend. The house is now sufficiently decked out in angels, candles, advent calendars, and stockings.

But no tree yet. I usually like to hold off until just a week or so before Christmas before putting up a tree. For the kids, this is much too long to wait. After fielding the question "When are we going to get a tree?" for the 53rd time, I started to insist that we were not getting a tree this year, but would instead just hang the ornaments on the vacuum cleaner. The kids thought this was funny at first, but as I persisted with this story, they started to wonder if I might be serious.

That night, after the kids went to bed, I followed through on my threat. The kids woke up the next morning to vacuum cleaner perched up on the tree stand, wrapped with lights, and topped with a star. Seeing their astonished reactions was most amusing, as is listening to them explain the Christmas vacuum when their friends come over the house to play.

The kids most likely suspect that we'll replace the vacuum with an actual Christmas tree at some point, but I like keeping them guessing.

Fly, Eagles, Fly

I took Zach to his first NFL game yesterday. The cold, rain, and wind (along with the poor play of the Eagles in the first half) made it feel a little like an endurance test, but it was still a good time.

(It helped that the Eagles ultimately won the game.)

I'll leave the rest of the synopsis to Zach, who posted an excellent summary of our experience over on his blog.

Zach's Random Blog

Zach started his own blog this week, influenced primarily by the Purple Bird's blog. He was so excited about this new endeavor that he was up before 6am on Tuesday morning, blogging away.

Now if only we could get his teachers to allow him to submit his homework via his blog. We fight with him about sitting at a table for ten minutes to do his homework, but if it involves sitting in front of a computer, he's all over it.

The Purple Bird

One of Phoebe and Ben's favorite toys is a purple bird puppet. They play with the puppet by chasing each other around the house with it while squawking at the top of their lungs.

For this reason, I hate the purple bird.

But a few days ago, a strange thing happened. The purple bird disappeared. Of course, I have no idea where it might have gone. All I know is that the wallpaper on our computer has been changed to an image of the purple bird, and this link has appeared on the desktop.

It's fun to watch them as they discover new Purple Bird posts, and maybe this is wishful thinking, but Phoebe might even appear to have some added motivation to learn more reading words so she can read the messages from Purple Bird.

I like this game a lot better than the one that involves the running and the squawking.

Let The Good Times Roll

Zach took a school field trip to the local skating rink last week.

Despite falling approximately three hundred times, he reports that he had a good time.

(After a while, he switched to roller blades and seemed less prone to falling.)

Ouch!

Ben had a routine checkup at the doctor last week. We knew he was going to need a shot, so we gave him a little pep talk so he'd be prepared.

This news did not go over well with Ben. He was stressed about it all morning.

And it only got worse. As it turned out, he needed five shots. The poor kid had bandages all over his arms.

He did seem to take some solace in showing me his battle scars later that evening.

Halloween Night 2007

Zach, Phoebe, and Ben on the night of the traditional neighborhood candy redistribution ritual.

We now have more candy in the house than we can reasonably expect to finish before Easter.

Halloween Parade III

Noble Knight Sir Benjamin (in flightless mode) marches in his pre-school Halloween parade.

He looked significantly happier with the wings on.

Ben the Flying Knight

While dressing for his Halloween Parade, Ben flashes the secret knight hand signal while trying on the wings from Phoebe's costume.

(Phoebe was not amused.)

Halloween Parade II

Phoebe took on two separate identities on Halloween. She wanted to go trick-or-treating as a Pokémon trainer like Zach. But for her school Halloween parade, she dressed up as Tinkerbell.

This allowed her class to meet the federal requirement that states that at least 75% of the girls in any given kindergarden class must be dressed as Disney Princesses.

Halloween Parade

Zach and friends at the school Halloween parade. (Zach is dressed as Ash Ketchum, the main character from the Pokémon cartoons.)

Pumpkin Carving

In recent years, we've refrained from cutting open our Halloween pumpkins, instead opting to having the kids color their pumpkins using special paint markers.

But this year, we spent the evening before Halloween doing a little traditional Halloween pumpkin carving.

We had one large pumpkin to carve, and a smaller white pumpkin that Zach picked out for himself.

While the kids scooped out the seeds out of thier pumpkins, Linda worked on a design to give the pumpkin the face of Pikachu (a Pokémon character), as specifically requested by Phoebe and Ben.

Zach chose a bat silhouette template from a pumpkin carving website for his white pumpkin, and transferred the template onto the pumpkin for me to cut.

(Below: Pikachu the Pokémon, the Houserspawn(tm) Pikachu Pumpkin)

Field Trip

Phoebe and friend on a class trip to a local farm last week.

Hello! My Name Is ________.

Since the time when we were deciding on names for our kids, I've been interested in trends in the popularity of baby names.

So I followed a link today to babynamemap.com, which allows visitors to browse and sort baby names by geography and popularity (using 2006 data). The interface is more than a little clunky, but it still makes for interesting browsing.

Discoveries:

Zachary was the 33rd most popular name for baby boys in the U.S. for 2006, one spot ahead of Caleb and one spot behind Jose.

Benjamin was the 24th most popular name for baby boys in the U.S. for 2006, one spot ahead of Samuel and one spot behind Nathan.

Phoebe was the 366th most popular name for baby girls in the U.S. for 2006, more popular than Kathleen (371), Denise (379), and Anne (460), but not at popular as Violet (261), Georgia (273), or London (353). Interesting.

I also discovered this nifty tool which graphs the popularity (in the U.S.) of any first name over the past 130 years.

Zachary is not in the top 1,000 boys names until the 1950s, but then becomes the 16th most popular name in the 1990s.

Phoebe is the 305th most popular girls name in 1890, falls out of the top 1,000 in the 1970s and 1980s, then is back up to #366 by 2006.

Benjamin goes from being 47th in the 1890s to 137th in the 1950s, then back up to 24th in 2006.

I love this stuff.

DISCLAIMER: No, we aren't planning on having any more kids. At the risk of being inappropriately self-disclosing, Houserspawn(tm) is out of the manufacturing buisness, and is now focused solely on the development and promotion of our existing prototypes.

Houserspawn(tm) Classic - October 2004

Fourteen-month-old Ben, dressed as a very frightening sippy cup-toting pumpkin, terrorizes the neighborhood on Halloween night 2004.

Phoebe's Favorite Things

Phoebe made this project in school last week. It represents her favorite sport, the thing that is most important to her, her favorite book, and her favorite food.

(The poster reads "Soccer", "My Family", "Fairy Realm", and "bacon".)

Three things to note: First, as much as we love Phoebe's kindergarten teacher, we're not sure what to do about the fact that she regularly misspells Phoebe's name, transposing the "o" and the "e".

Second, Phoebe wasn't nearly as amused as I was when I asked whether her favorite sport was really bacon.

Third, when I told Phoebe I would put her picture up on our blog, her response was "Ewww, that sounds disgusting!"

Soccer Wrap-Up

Zach and Phoebe's Red Team split the last two games of their season over the weekend, losing to the Green Team 2-1 on Saturday and beating the Yellow Team 2-1 on Sunday.

Phoebe finishes the season with a few nice defensive stops, a better understanding of the game, and a profound feeling of relief that we will no longer be dragging her over to the soccer field on Saturday mornings.

Zach finishes the season with three goals, some renewed confidence in his athletic abilities, and although he would deny it, some small amount of enthusiasm for soccer that comes from being an active player on a winning team.

Ben liked the fact that his friend Asher was on his soccer team, but overall, he's pretty glad that the season's over.

So what's next for team Houserspawn(tm)? This is a good question, and a bit of a dilemma for us.

Given a choice, the kids would prefer to stay home, read books, play dress-up, do crafts, and play video games. But Linda and I agree that they need to be involved in some sort of team sport or activity during the fall and winter months.

The neighborhood league where they played soccer also sponsors basketball and bowling, so these are likely possibilities. We might also look into karate at the local Y. Frankly, I'm fine with anything that doesn't involve having the kids sitting at home all winter.

Houserspawn(tm) Classic - October 2000

I have a strong preference for classic Halloween costumes. I'll take a vampire, ghost, zombie, or mummy over a Power Ranger, Dora the Explorer, Buzz Lightyear, or a Disney Princess any day.

(Sad but true: out of the 70 or 80 kids that came to our door on Halloween last year, close to 50% of the girls were dressed as Disney Princesses.)

I don't have much say in what costumes the kids choose for Halloween these days, and I'm somewhat nostalgic for the days when they were young enough that I could make the decision for them.

This Vampire Zach costume (from his first Halloween, when he was just 10 mos old) is probably my favorite of any that the kids have worn over the years.

Sunday Soccer Highlights

(My apologies for yet another soccer post. I'm increasingly aware that I'm becoming an insufferable Soccer Dad).

Zach and Phoebe's Red Team played the Black Team to a 1-1 draw in their game today.

Phoebe's game continues to improve -- she got more playing time than usual today, and she kept after the ball the entire time she was on the field. She even tried to muscle in front of a much bigger kid while jockeying for position on a throw-in. That's my girl.

Zach's scoring streak extended to three games, as he scored the only Red Team goal. He actually created several scoring chances for himself by working hard, being steadfast in pursuing the play, and playing with a measure of reckless abandon. It is so satisfying to see him have some success this year. I'm proud of my boy.

On the other hand, I'm on the hook for another milkshake, thanks to Zach's goal.

Further evidence that I am becoming an insufferable Soccer Dad:

First, "Soccer" now the most 4th most frequently used label on the Houserspawn(tm) blog, after "Phoebe", "Ben", and "Zach".

Second, I turned down Linda's offer to let me catch the kickoff of the Eagles game this afternoon in order to watch Zach and Phoebe's soccer team play. Frankly, I'm enjoying Red Team soccer more than Eagles football these days.

Another Red Team Win

KEDRON (AP) -- Zach, the boy from down the street, the coach's daughter, and the best player on the team all provided goals in a winning effort as the Red team defeated Yellow 4-0 Saturday, giving Red their third consecutive victory.

It started out looking like it might be a rough day for the Red team, as they had just enough players to field a full team. But even though every available Red player was on the field for the entire game (while Yellow had enough players to rest two at a time), the Yellow team was no match for the Red team's offensive attack.

Zach scored his second goal of the season, earning himself another celebratory milkshake at Nifty Fifty's.

Phoebe played mostly on defense, did a good job paying attention to the game, and even kicked the ball a few times.

The Red team has three more regular season games before the big Parents vs. Kids showdown two weeks from today.

Stratego

When Zach and I play a game, it's usually something on the GameCube, or occasionally a card game like Magic.

So it was something of a novelty when we got out the old Stratego board game tonight and played a couple of games.

As the games progressed, I taught him the importance of not signaling your plan of attack too early, using decoys, and waiting for the right moment to strike with the Marshall.

At one point, I even used an old Stratego deception trick: I reached for one of my bomb pieces as if I intended to move it but then changed my mind, all in order to (falsely) signal that the bomb piece was something other than a bomb. Zach took the bait, attacked the square containing my bomb and lost his Colonel. But being a quick study, he added that trick to his arsonal, and fooled me with the same ploy later in the same game.

I think he's hooked.

Houserspawn(tm) Classic - September 2003

Zach and Phoebe lounging out on the front lawn on a sunny September day in 2003.

Crash

It's been a week or so since I've posted, as the Houserspawn(tm) desktop suffered a catastrophic hard drive failure last week.

We're now back up and running and (pretty much) fully restored.

One silver lining in the whole hard drive-replacement-and-recovery ordeal is that it provided us an occasion to re-visit our old digital photos as we were pulling them from our backups.

In the days and weeks to come, I'll post some of these old, rarely-seen photos from the Houserspawn(tm) vaults.

He Shoots, He Scores

Zach scored his first career soccer goal yesterday in his team's game against the Green Team.

Before the game, Coach Vince told Zach that he had a good feeling about him today, and asked him if he thought he could put the ball in the net for him. Zach told him he could, and Coach started him at center.

The game was tied 1-1 when, in the 2nd quarter, the Green goalie misplayed a ball in front of the net, and Zach was there to put it in.

The call (provided by me, while pacing the sidelines and screaming like some kind of unhinged lunatic) went something like this:

"GO, ZACH, THAT'S YOUR BALL! GO GET IT! GO GET IT! SHOOT! SHOOT! SHOOT!"

"Did it go in? Did it go in the net? YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

His goal put the Red Team up 2-1, and they never looked back. Final score: Red Team 4, Green Team 1.

After the game, the kids and I enjoyed a celebratory meal of burgers, chicken nuggets, and milkshakes at Nifty Fifty's.

Three more weeks in the season - here's hoping for more trips to Nifty's before the season's done.

The Red Team

Zach & Phoebe team had their team pictures taken for soccer on Saturday. I'm not going to remember all of the kids' names, but I'll do my best.

Pictured from left to right: the girl who scored one of the goals last week, the overly-energetic boy that makes the coach crazy, the coach's daughter, the boy with the hair (aka Zach), the girl with the best soccer skills on the team, the girl who sometimes runs out on the field when she's supposed to be on the bench, the quiet girl, and the girl who sometimes reaches down and picks the grass during games (aka Phoebe)

Back row: Coach Vince, and the other guy who helps out

Not pictured: The neighbor's boy who shares Zach's Pokemon obsession (and whose mom forgot about picture day), the boy who had his leg in a cast, and the girl whose mom couldn't find the place where the pictures were being taken

Wii Envy

One of Zach's good friends from the neighborhood recently got a Nintendo Wii. In response, Zach has launched into a full-fledged campaign to get one of his own. His longing for the shiny new toy is palpable. (Understandably so -- I haven't played with one yet, but they look really, really cool.)

Now, it has been our unofficial family policy to not buy the newest and latest videogame systems as they come out, but rather to stay about 2-3 years behind the cutting edge, waiting for prices to drop significantly before upgrading to a new videogame system.

But this time, it might just be unavoidable. The holidays (and Zach's birthday) are coming up, the extended family is looking for gift suggestions for the kids, and Linda likes the idea of video games that involve the kids being up and moving around rather then just sitting still.

I won't put up much of a fight, either. Video games are a guilty pleasure of mine, and have I mentioned that the Wii looks really, really cool?

Anyone in the market for a well-used GameCube?

The Four Types of Soccer Parents

In my brief experience as a Soccer Dad, I have found that in general, Soccer Parents can be grouped into one of four categories:

1) The Socializer spends the entire game gabbing with friends, never really paying attention to the game unless the coach is heard calling out the kids name. The Socializer loves having kids in soccer, as it provides an opportunity to catch up on all of the neighborhood gossip. The Socializer is mostly seen talking with other Socializers, but is often spotted talking with Normal Parents as well.

2) The Angry Parent is upset that his/her child forgot the shin pads, or isn't running fast enough, or didn't heed the coach's instructions, or drank all of the Gatorade before the game even started. Angry Parent also gets upset at the coach and the refs, and basically questions every decision made regarding the league, including game location, starting times, and uniform color. Angry Parent is often looking for a sympathetic ear, and is therefore drawn to The Socializer.

3) The Fan is way too into the game, pacing the sidelines, cheering for the kids at an inappropriately loud volume throughout the game. Other parents occasionally give The Fan a bemused glance, causing The Fan to quiet down for a while. But a short time later, The Fan is caught up in the game again, clapping, yelling, and ultimately looking silly. The Fan's natural enemy is The Socializer, who prevents The Fan from paying attention to the game.

4) Finally, the Normal Parent sits back and enjoys the game, allows the coach do the coaching, and does not overwhelm the kids with lots of yelling. Normal Parent does not pace up and down the sidelines, does not indulge in excessive yelling, and does not get angry at the kids or the refs. Nevertheless, Normal Parent interacts easily with parents with any of the other three groups.

So which am I?

I am The Fan. I can't help myself. I never imagined that I'd be someone who gets all keyed up at my kids' soccer games. It is soccer, after all. But there I am each week, yelling and cheering like a crazy person.

Below: This is what Ben (his game finished up earlier in the day) was doing while I was carrying on at Zach and Phoebe's game last Sunday.

Soccer Star

Last year, Zach (at 6 years old) was one of the youngest kids on his soccer team. (The age range is from 6-8 years old.) He did ok, but most of the other kids were older, stronger, and faster, and so Zach didn't play very aggresively, and wasn't a big part of the action.

This year, it's a different story. Zach is much more confident, and has a much better grasp of what's happening on the field. Even more than that, he isn't nearly as passive as he was last year. He's not afraid to get after the ball and challenge the players on the opposing team.

In his game last Sunday, he even had a nice scoring opportunity (where his shot hit the post). Last year, shots on goal just didn't happen for him, as he was always a step or two behind the play.

Zach's team lost 3-2, but I was pretty proud of our soccer star.

Phoebe's Birthday Bash

Our house was full of Phoebe's friends today as we threw her a Fairy Realm-themed birthday party.

Loosely following the storyline in the Fairy Realm book series, each of the guests had to steal an enchanted bracelet from the evil Valda, thus enabling them to find magical wish stones, paint butterflies, transport griffin eggs on a spoon, play pin-the-horn-on-the-Unicorn, and eat bubble-gum flavored ice-cream cake.

Various and sundry gifts were given and received, including roller skates, several dolls, new pajamas, a Webkinz pet, and a bunch of other stuff that I didn't really pay attention to, as it was mostly pink and frilly and princess and/or fairy-oriented. Pictured to the left: a dress-up princess gown which Phoebe changed into almost immediately after unwrapping and wore for the rest of the day.

Special thanks goes out to Aunt Melissa for the outstanding homemade birthday card featuring this (somewhat terrifying) photoshopped image of Phoebe as a Disney Princess.

Party Preparations

In preparation for today's party, Phoebe decorated her own birthday cake -- which was (by Phoebe's specific request) made with only the finest bubble-gum-flavored ice cream known to humanity.

I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that this was quite possibly the most obscenely decadent birthday cake ever.

Rained Out

Even though there was no rain in the forecast, it poured shortly before the kids' soccer games were scheduled to start this morning.

As the photo illustrates, reactions among Team Houserspawn(tm) were mixed.

Six

Today is Phoebe's sixth birthday.

This morning, I asked her if she thinks anything will be different now that she's six.

She thought for a moment and replied:

"I'll get to stay up later. I'll get to watch more television. And I'll get to have a birthday party."

Well, she's right about the last one at least.

Go, Sharks, go!

Regardless of whether or not the Phillies are able to make the post-season, there is playoff baseball in Philadelphia this year.

OK, well, not in Philadelphia exactly, but rather across the river in Camden, NJ, where I took the kids last night to see the Camden Riversharks play the Somerset Patriots in the Atlantic League semifinals.

As an aside, if you're a baseball fan in the Philly area, a Riversharks game is a Must See. Games are (relatively) cheap, and Campbell's Field offers a gorgeous view of the Ben Franklin Bridge and the Philly skyline.

The Sharks played the Pats to a 2-2 stalemate through 10 innings, at which time Phoebe had fallen asleep and Ben was about to do the same. We weren't around to see the Patriots score in the 11th to force the series to a 3rd and deciding game, to be played tonight at Campbell's field.

But in the end, I got to see 10 innings of minor-league baseball, and the kids got to eat hot dogs and ice cream and stay up until 10:30 on a school night. Everybody went home happy.